There was an article in The Age Good Weekend this Sunday that had me wondering what criticism parents will be facing next. This article actually accused parents of being too caring about their children. It wasn’t put in those words, of course, but it did use the term “over-parenting.” The idea implied that parents today are going too far in their involvement with their children’s lives, and that this might somehow be detrimental.
Apparently, parents are spending too much time with their kids, signing them up for too many activities, and, heaven forbid, allowing them too much free rein on household space. Instead of the “good old days” when children were seen and not heard, today’s parents are apparently too worried about whether they’re doing a good job. And, as a result, they fail to spend enough time without their children in tow. The suggestion seems to be that parents should step back, let their kids fend for themselves more, and focus less on their children’s happiness and well-being.
Well, excuse me for being a terrible parent, but I love spending time with my daughter. In fact, call me crazy, but the reason I decided to have a child was because I actually wanted her in my life. It might sound radical, but I genuinely care about whether or not she’s happy. And, believe it or not, I’m not particularly keen on letting her break limbs or face unnecessary hardships just because it might teach her “resilience.” There’s a fine line between preparing a child for challenges and being neglectful, and I’d rather err on the side of care and support.
It also seems entirely reasonable to me that parents worry about whether they’re doing a good job or not. We live in a world of small, nuclear families, often in isolated units far from extended family networks. Unlike in the past, there aren’t older generations constantly present to provide guidance or reassurance. For many of us, parenting is a learn-as-you-go experience. It’s only when we have children of our own that we begin to truly understand these small, complex people.
Parenting is a skill—just like math, science, or English—that has to be learned. But society doesn’t do a great job of teaching it. Instead, parents are often left to figure things out on their own or turn to parenting books, online resources, and parent coaching classes. Yet, even these tools are criticized, as if seeking guidance is somehow a weakness. Why not focus on the systemic issues that make modern parenting so challenging instead of piling on criticism that only adds more stress and uncertainty to parents’ hearts and minds?
Regardless of these critiques, I actually love the so-called trend of “over-parenting.” I love that I can take my daughter to a restaurant and enjoy her company. I love that I can bring her on holiday and share new experiences with her. I love that our house is filled with her toys, her laughter, and the beautiful chaos that comes with having a child. I love seeing the world through her eyes—everything seems brighter, bigger, and full of wonder.
I love giving her opportunities to explore, grow, and learn. I love watching her develop into her own little person, someone full of curiosity and potential. I’m glad I was there to cheer her on when she took her first steps, and I’m glad I’m still there to hug her when she falls. I’m grateful for the chance to instill confidence in her, to let her know she’s capable, strong, and loved.
I’m also okay with worrying about how I’m doing as a parent. That worry means I’m alive, present, and invested in someone other than myself. It means I care deeply about her well-being and future. And most of all, I love the new dimension my life has gained because of her. She has brought depth, joy, and purpose to my world, and I wouldn’t change any of it for anything. If that’s “over-parenting,” then I’ll gladly wear the label.