Sahail AshrafWarning: Shopping Centres Are Booby Trapped for Parents
July 10th 2007 10:28
Mums are caught in a conundrum. Taking a toddler shopping is akin to walking into a land mine site yet the groceries need to be bought, and the other necessities of life. When I first experienced shopping with a daughter who had just entered toddlerhood, I left exhausted and frazzled, with little more than a loaf of bread and three new singlets for my darling. I had entered a new realm of shopping. Unlike the baby year, where good timing was the key to successful shopping, taking a toddler along required a whole new level of skills. Negotiations over hopping back in the pram became necessary. Explanations over why she can’t take everything within reach home with her were needed – or indeed why she can’t touch everything within reach. Diversion tactics, patience and the ability to compromise became part of the shopping experience.
The land mines in shopping centres are many and varied. At first I wasn’t aware of where they all were, or what form they came in, but over time I felt I’d mastered it and have managed to actually enjoy our shopping adventures together. Pet shops are included in the itinerary, home wares shops are a definite no go zone, toy shops are reserved for when there is lots of time spare, post offices and news agencies require careful negotiation to fit a pram through and must be surveyed for boxes lying in the aisles upon entry.
But a new land mine of explosive caliber has come into my life. Princess Toddler discovered the shopping centre ride. Likely to reduce the calmest of toddler to a tantrum of an ear-piercing, foot stomping nature, these have become the bane of my existence. Gone are the days of happily sliding the pram along a slippery tile floor between stores. Gone in fact is the ability to go to my local shopping strip without tantrums over these evil rides.
Having been acutely aware for some time now that it would be the ultimate mistake to give Princess Toddler a go on one of these rides, I have avoided so much as glancing in their direction. But as her awareness has grown, so has her discovery that these rides look like fun. It hasn’t helped matters that she’s even seen other kids smiling as they bob up and down in a ladybug that beeps and flashes red. I even relented and gave her a turn one time, but the fascination has remained much the same.
The worst thing is that at my local shopping zone, there is one of these wretched rides on either side of the street. There’s a train on one side, a car on the other. This means that every time we go to the newsagents, the post office, the supermarket, the bakery, the library etc etc, we have to pass them. At first I tried ignoring my daughter all together when she said ‘train,’ ‘train.’ That worked for a while. But over time the pleas became more insistent. And finally reached tantrum stage. I let her sit on one without inserting any coins but that was less than satisfactory. Now my shopping trips are a nightmare and unless I have four dollars to throw away each time we go to the local shopping strip, I just walk on by as quickly as I can and watch as people eye my screaming child. I feel for her. I’d love to give her a go every time we go to the shops, but sorry baby, I don’t have $12 a week to throw in a car or train.
The land mines in shopping centres are many and varied. At first I wasn’t aware of where they all were, or what form they came in, but over time I felt I’d mastered it and have managed to actually enjoy our shopping adventures together. Pet shops are included in the itinerary, home wares shops are a definite no go zone, toy shops are reserved for when there is lots of time spare, post offices and news agencies require careful negotiation to fit a pram through and must be surveyed for boxes lying in the aisles upon entry.
But a new land mine of explosive caliber has come into my life. Princess Toddler discovered the shopping centre ride. Likely to reduce the calmest of toddler to a tantrum of an ear-piercing, foot stomping nature, these have become the bane of my existence. Gone are the days of happily sliding the pram along a slippery tile floor between stores. Gone in fact is the ability to go to my local shopping strip without tantrums over these evil rides.
Having been acutely aware for some time now that it would be the ultimate mistake to give Princess Toddler a go on one of these rides, I have avoided so much as glancing in their direction. But as her awareness has grown, so has her discovery that these rides look like fun. It hasn’t helped matters that she’s even seen other kids smiling as they bob up and down in a ladybug that beeps and flashes red. I even relented and gave her a turn one time, but the fascination has remained much the same.
The worst thing is that at my local shopping zone, there is one of these wretched rides on either side of the street. There’s a train on one side, a car on the other. This means that every time we go to the newsagents, the post office, the supermarket, the bakery, the library etc etc, we have to pass them. At first I tried ignoring my daughter all together when she said ‘train,’ ‘train.’ That worked for a while. But over time the pleas became more insistent. And finally reached tantrum stage. I let her sit on one without inserting any coins but that was less than satisfactory. Now my shopping trips are a nightmare and unless I have four dollars to throw away each time we go to the local shopping strip, I just walk on by as quickly as I can and watch as people eye my screaming child. I feel for her. I’d love to give her a go every time we go to the shops, but sorry baby, I don’t have $12 a week to throw in a car or train.
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Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
My son loves to go and push the buttons on one of the supermarket rides in our centre because they beep and flash without needing any money. He gave up asking for two dollars a while ago ... he just saves his pleas for a lollypop once we get into the shop!
Have a good day.
A. xx
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
malls Pah!..they are masters at tearing families apart, aren't 'they?'
I used to tell my kids we would have a go, if there was enough money left after the shopping was over. They were happy with that and seemed to understand that if there wasn't, there just wasn't...maybe next week.
Sometimes in the middle of the week, I'd say : I have some cash left over for that ride, do you want to go now or wait until we go and do the grovcery's... I never said no, exactly... but more a matter of showing them priorities...
I felt it important that they learn to have the luxuries after the essentials, even if I could afford it. Then, when possible...I would give them the money and let them put it in too...all by themselves. I can remember that it made my girls feel so important, I used to bust at the sight of them... the excitement was so wild on the days we did have enough money left over *lol* God they were just so cute.
In the supermarket I never argued. I just said 'yes' put it in the trolley and we'll see if there is enough money left over at the end after the food and essentials.
At first they piled the trolley full and I left all of it. Eventually however, they got to one or two special things.
I never felt bad about leaving things up on the checkout sweet shelves, because the industrial psychologists never feel bad about making children scream and tearing families apart, with their waste-making policies.
Eventually, the children even forgot what they had put in the trolley, by the time we got home I'd say; "oh we must have forgotten it," or "nope not enough money this week," then I'd distract them by remarking about their last purchase and where was that?
'We'll try again next week,' I'd say : by which time they had usually forgotten with no TV to remind them of all the things they didn't need, but had to have NOW!...
I never forgot what they wanted though and and I'd often sneak back and get them one or two of their special choices, which would appear for birthday's and Christmas', or just when I had extra cash...it all worked wonders.
I decided early Candice, that I wouldn't argue with my toddlers, especially at the expense of conglomerates who wouldn't give a dam about family bonds. Just say yes, put it in the trolley and we'll see at the check-out. When there, (a) they've usually forgotten about them and you can just put them up on the magazine stand or (b) if there is enough money, make them chose which one thing they want... it's all good learning experience.
You have to fight fire with fire *lol* hang in there...
Lilla
Comment by Candice
Mysteries is right. It's a mystery how I'm going to come up with a creative answer for this one!
Comment by Candice
Hee, hee. It's all a matter of priorities then?? Lollipop versus ride! I'm glad my daughter hasn't discovered the lolly aisle just yet. She's more interested in stealing a piece of bread from the loaf I've just put in the trolley (ah, I can handle that one!).
Comment by Candice
Yes, yes yes.
You come up with some ingenious ideas though. I love them, and I love the fact that they also taught your children a bit of the concept of money and 'wanting' for things. It's hard to go shopping knowing in some way it's also teaching those ideas of wanting and consumerism. But you've got to eat and pay the bills, right? Also, I love the idea that you remembered what your kids' liked and kept as present ideas.
Thanks so much for your thoughtful answer. My creativity was feeling a little run out on this one.
Comment by Andrea
V8 Supercar Pitstop
A xx
Comment by Candice