Sahail AshrafSanta Claus is Coming to Town ...
November 13th 2006 09:15
I went to grab a couple of things from the shops the other day and discovered Christmas has arrived in retail land. It led me to think yet again about the whole Santa concept. Thankfully, I don't have to do the whole 'Santa's coming' thing just yet with my daughter, but it will definitely be the last time.
I'm wondering if I'm the only person in the western world who isn't so keen on Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas .... whatever you like to call that bearded bloke who delivers pressies.
I don't know why I can't shake my lack of desire to tell the whole made up story of Santa coming and giving you presents, but only if you've been a good little girl or boy. I don't like the whole concept of lying about the existence of Santa. I don't like the idea of encouraging my children to want, want, want and demand, demand, demand, whether it be in the form of a letter, list or lap sitting request to Santa personally. I certainly don't like the material reward for good behaviour idea.
Yet Santa is an accepted concept in our culture and it probably can't be avoided. I'm not suggesting children shouldn't have 'magic' in their lives, or excitement at Christmas, or be deprived of toys. But I just can't help hating the mere thought of the Santa phenomenon.
This year, with 'stranger danger' having just come into my daughter's life, will I try and force her to like jolly old Santa and try and convince her she should sit on his lap for a photo or two? I am wracking my brains for a way to avoid the whole Santa thing for the extent of my daughter's childhood. Okay, that's a little impossible given he's at every shopping centre, not to mention in books, at work Christmas parties, and talked about in great detail among children and adults alike.
I can't bring myself to 'spoil' the idea of Santa and cause problems for my daughter in the playground but can someone please, oh please, tell me why he still exists?
I'm wondering if I'm the only person in the western world who isn't so keen on Santa Claus, Father Christmas, Saint Nicholas .... whatever you like to call that bearded bloke who delivers pressies.
I don't know why I can't shake my lack of desire to tell the whole made up story of Santa coming and giving you presents, but only if you've been a good little girl or boy. I don't like the whole concept of lying about the existence of Santa. I don't like the idea of encouraging my children to want, want, want and demand, demand, demand, whether it be in the form of a letter, list or lap sitting request to Santa personally. I certainly don't like the material reward for good behaviour idea.
Yet Santa is an accepted concept in our culture and it probably can't be avoided. I'm not suggesting children shouldn't have 'magic' in their lives, or excitement at Christmas, or be deprived of toys. But I just can't help hating the mere thought of the Santa phenomenon.
This year, with 'stranger danger' having just come into my daughter's life, will I try and force her to like jolly old Santa and try and convince her she should sit on his lap for a photo or two? I am wracking my brains for a way to avoid the whole Santa thing for the extent of my daughter's childhood. Okay, that's a little impossible given he's at every shopping centre, not to mention in books, at work Christmas parties, and talked about in great detail among children and adults alike.
I can't bring myself to 'spoil' the idea of Santa and cause problems for my daughter in the playground but can someone please, oh please, tell me why he still exists?
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Comment by Sandi
I figure we would introduce it, but downplay it. Even if we didn't participate with the Santa theme, then we'd still ask her for a list. Not just for us, but we have two entended families who want to know as well.
Take my SIL. She can barely give her 4 kids the basic necessities of life (They've gone without gas in their home for over a year) but spends 300 on each child. She chose to not tell them about Santa, yet have taught her children to want want want at Xmas time. Yet, my kids do believe and their limit is around $100 for each child. It's all about how you handle it.
It's tough, the balancing act of parenting.
Comment by Candice
I loved your response to dealing with the Santa issue. That's a great idea to only ask for one thing from Santa. I really like that.
There are certainly a lot of things in life that I have just accepted as part of life, but that I have had to give more thought to when bringing children into the equation. Part of it has been clarifying what my own values are first. I'm sure there'll be a lot more, and some hairier ones, along the way!
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I'm not quite sure I care either way to be honest.
My husband's biggest gripe is that the kids get more excited about Santa's gifts that the gifts that come with love from mum and dad. Christmas is a time for family, not some funny looking man in a garish red suit.
But it is an uphill battle because society at large does influence beyond our control.
Comment by Candice
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
He doesn't feel like he was robbed on anything so I guess his parents more than compensated for it.
Comment by Anonymous
In today's society we don't believe in anything: God, Santa Claus, magic - anything we can't touch, hear, taste or feel. We are forced to deal with the "realities" of the world daily , from war, to sexual diseases to daily finances and other stressors in our lives. Half the time, I'm afraid to even turn on my television for fear of giving my daughter a healthy dose of "reality" that includes foul language, eccessive violence and heaps of sex. Last month there was a shooting at the school across from her daycare - we live in a small town, in the suburbs!
I think back to my childhood and think upon my memories of Santa, the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy with fondness and nostalgia. It was a time in my life when I truly believed that anything was possible and my imagination was a great vehicle for creativity and zest in my young life. When my mother felt it was time to reveal to me that Santa (and the others) did not exist, I was not angry at my mother for lieing to me - I was angry that she didn't allow me to believe for a few more years!! To believe that there was someone benevolent out there who cared not only about me but all children of the world gave me a hope for humanity, and the fact that people still continue the tradition of this "myth" allows me to hold on to the faith that most people do care about others and believe in the importance of childhood and imagination - while others crush it with as snap as they program their children on "reality."
I think it's funny that some belive the idea of Santa Claus only teaches children to "want, want, want". First of all, this is true, if you already give, give, give to your children without them ever knowing what it truly means to want. In my family, the only time I received a new toy or item was on birthdays or Christmas. It made me truly appreciate the things I got because it only happened once or twice per year. Blaming the tradition of a man who has a soft spot for children (who happen to love toys) on a materialistic society seems so unfair - but I guess it's easier to point it at a fabrication (that is actually based on historical truth) then to take the blame for ourselves. Compare a child who excitedly writes a list to Santa Claus to the child with every toy on his bedroom floor, every outfit from Baby Gap in his wardrobe and a Disney Cell phone. ...uh, yeah...
On a final note, I'd like to suggest that when you allow your child to believe in Santa Claus, you are not telling your child a "lie" or permitting a "lie." You are allowing your child to have an imagination, one that may lead that child to become an astronaut, an artist, a writer (think Tolkien) or a Movie Director. Rather, in your effort to cram the child with the "truth" it is not honesty but robbery - you are robbing your child of dream and possibility.
Comment by Candice
I haven't made any decision about not allowing a Santa in my child's life - there are just a few aspects of it - mainly due to the way the concept of Christmas has now been commercialised - that I want to consider. I don't like the way Santa is represented. That's not to say I don't believe in children having magic or imagination.
I believe imagination is a very important part of childhood, and adulthood for that matter. I am a reader and writer and share my love of books with my daughter. If I didn't believe in encouraging imagination I certainly wouldn't be reading her loads of stories every day. Let alone role play and act out imaginary scenes with her dolls and toys.
I'm glad you felt that way when Santa's true identity was revealed to you by your mum, but in my case, I have to say I did feel a bit lied to. When I found the toys hidden in my parent's wardrobe I couldn't believe it had all been made up. I did find it upsetting. I guess each child reacts differently to things which is why I'm giving the whole thing a lot of thought.
I appreciate your opinion though - I do agree with you that the imagination should be fostered so it's given me another way of thinking when making this type of decision.