Sahail AshrafPregnancy Q & A: Humour … a parent’s best friend
January 25th 2007 09:11
I had a good laugh over these pregnancy question and answers. I hope you do too …
Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxer shorts rather than briefs?
A: Yes, but you’ll have an even better chance if he doesn’t wear anything at all.
Q: My brother tells me that since my husband has a big nose, and genes for big noses are dominant, my baby will have a big nose as well. Is this true?
A: The odds are greater that your brother will have a fat lip.
Q: What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant?
A: Have sex once a year.
Q: My husband and I are very attractive. I’m sure our baby will be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact about this?
A: Your therapist.
Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q: My blood type is O-positive and my husband’s is A-negative. What if my baby is born, say, type AB-positive?
A: Then the game is up.
Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes university.
Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.
Q: Ever since I’ve been pregnant, I haven’t been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
A: Depends on what you’re doing with them.
Q: Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A: Yes, your bladder.
Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A: Because you’re fatter than they are.
Q: Will I love my dog less when the baby is born?
A: No, but your husband might get on your nerves.
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s almost irrational.
A: So what’s your question, goatface?
Source: Biddulph, Steve & Shaaron (2000), Love, Laughter and Parenting: The Precious Years from Birth to Six, Dorling Kindersley Ltd, London,
Feel free to share any not so intelligent questions and comments you’ve heard along the way. The favourite one I received when I was pregnant was “Don’t think that labour isn’t painful.” Der, and thanks for the timely reminder!
Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxer shorts rather than briefs?
A: Yes, but you’ll have an even better chance if he doesn’t wear anything at all.
Q: My brother tells me that since my husband has a big nose, and genes for big noses are dominant, my baby will have a big nose as well. Is this true?
A: The odds are greater that your brother will have a fat lip.
Q: What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant?
A: Have sex once a year.
Q: My husband and I are very attractive. I’m sure our baby will be beautiful enough for commercials. Whom should I contact about this?
A: Your therapist.
Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant.
Q: My blood type is O-positive and my husband’s is A-negative. What if my baby is born, say, type AB-positive?
A: Then the game is up.
Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes university.
Q: How will I know if my vomiting is morning sickness or the flu?
A: If it’s the flu, you’ll get better.
Q: Ever since I’ve been pregnant, I haven’t been able to go to bed at night without onion rings. Is this a normal craving?
A: Depends on what you’re doing with them.
Q: Since I became pregnant, my breasts, rear end, and even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A: Yes, your bladder.
Q: The more pregnant I get, the more often strangers smile at me. Why?
A: Because you’re fatter than they are.
Q: Will I love my dog less when the baby is born?
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s almost irrational.
A: So what’s your question, goatface?
Source: Biddulph, Steve & Shaaron (2000), Love, Laughter and Parenting: The Precious Years from Birth to Six, Dorling Kindersley Ltd, London,
Feel free to share any not so intelligent questions and comments you’ve heard along the way. The favourite one I received when I was pregnant was “Don’t think that labour isn’t painful.” Der, and thanks for the timely reminder!
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Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
Funny list. I have this book too. It's not a bad read.
When I was pregnant for the first time I used to get "now you've gone and done it" quite a bit. Very annoying. Twats.
Love & stuff
Mrs M
Comment by katyzzz
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MS Paint Art
Well done,
katyzzz
Comment by Lilla
From The Home Front
Enviro Warrior
Dream Herald
Esoteric Bookshop
..lurvved it, thanks for the laugh, I really needed something to make me have a giggle... this worked just fine! *lol* It's been a long time since I was pregnant, I can't remember anyone saying anything other than - repeatedly - when is the baby due?
drove me nuts!
L
Comment by Candice
The book's pretty good, hey? I liked the attitude they have towards toddlers and discipline. Very helpful too. The humour section on preparing for parenthood is funny too!
Hi Katyzzz,
Glad you liked it. I could certainly relate to some of the answers too - especially the part about the only bit getting smaller being your bladder.
Hi Lilla,
Thanks for dropping by. I'm glad you got a laugh out of it. An original question you got hey? The other favourite one is 'Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?'